Lex
You told me once that our friendship would be the stuff of legend. I guess the two of us should know better than most not to make promises we couldn’t keep. Because that friendship… well… it died, didn’t it?
There’s blame for that, on both sides. Mistrust was sown and, before we knew it, we couldn’t look at each other without suspicion. Without pain. Without mourning what was lost. I don’t presume to think you mourned – I just don’t know. I guess I’m just hoping you did. I guess I’m clinging to the belief that the loss of that friendship affected you as much as it affected me. Because it did effect me, Lex.
It’s funny, now that the end is in sight I find myself assaulted by the strangest thoughts. The most unlikely memories. The song my mom used to hum when she was quilting. The muttered curses from my dad when he was trying to fix the tractor. Lunchtimes in the cafeteria with Pete and Chloe. Cramming seven cups of coffee trying to meet a midnight deadline with Lois. And you…
I’ve thought a lot about you lately. About the way it was, before it got so serious. The way you laughed when I stalled the Lamborghini the first time I drove it. The way you swore I was cheating because you could never beat me at pool. The way I swore up and down I had no feelings for Lana, and yet, I always came to you for advice about “this friend of mine” that liked her. The way we just used to sit – me drinking orange juice, you drinking scotch (I still don’t get that, by the way) – and just talk. About family, cars, girls, our futures, our dreams and, at the best of times, about nothing at all.
I wish I could have saved you. I’ve never wished that I hadn’t saved you at all.
Maybe I should have told you who I really am. Maybe I should have tried harder to pull you back from the edge. Maybe… Maybe…
Maybe I just miss my friend.
It doesn’t matter now. You’re gone, and soon I will be too. Will you be waiting for me when I get to the other side? Will you put your arm around me, call me your brother again, and tell me you forgive me? Will we get another chance to do it right?
I don’t know about legends. All I know is we were friends once, and… however brief it was… it meant more to me than legends ever will.
Clark.
